Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Remembering

It's been two years. Sometimes it feels a million years away, and sometimes I feel like I just got punched in the stomach.

Isabel's death & birth have changed me forever, and I can't ever again be who I was. Sometimes I want to go back, to undo it, to skip over that part of my life. But then there'd be no Sadie. So I can't...instead I'm stuck in the middle. Isabel is there and she's not...and that's the way it will be forever.

And I'm learning to live with that, somewhat comfortably. For now, that's enough.

10 comments:

k@lakly said...

Remembering with you and thinking of your Isabel and your Sadie. Both of whom have left forever footprints in your life.
xxoo

meagan said...

I am still so sorry that you guys had to go through that and how much Isabel still affects everyone, especially you. Though it did help contribute who you are today and has changed you indefinitely, it has also made you tremendously stronger. Your battle scars are not visible, but they certainly are medal worthy. I admire you, Sarah.

And I love my little spitfire Sadie Butt.

Lolo said...

:(
I'm sorry Sarah. I can only imagine that the remembering part is as emotional and difficult as most anything. Sending comforting thoughts and hugs your way.
xo

Grande Baliad said...

i can't imagine going through that... i release the love of Jesus to you...

Kim said...

Sitting with you as you remember your Isabel. May she always know she is loved.

Aunt Becky said...

I never forget.

linds said...

Sending you hugs and love. As you walk this out with Jesus its so beautiful. I love how real you are about it... don't ever forget because even this is contained within Jesus that's in you.

Ashleigh said...

This exactly. I'm abiding with you & remembering

Michele said...

remembering with you...

Robert J. Moeller said...

Very interesting site you got here. I found it randomly while looking through fans of Milton Friedman on blogger. I am a grad student in Chicago and an aspiring writer with a blog of my own (rjmoeller.com). Check it out some time. Take care.