Friday, May 23, 2008

Still pregnant after all these years...

We're getting ready to go on a camping trip this morning. I was pregnant when we went camping last year too. Except for a few months in the fall, I've been pregnant for more than a year now. My poor husband - I swear...14 months of hormones can't be fun. It's hard to be the woman full of raging hormones, let alone the person living with her. And we have severals months to go. And potentially more children after this.

I actually like being pregnant - I've enjoyed it every time. It's one of the few times I feel really good about my body. The pregnancy gives it a purpose, and minimizes all the cosmetic flaws. I really truly like this time, this process, this place. But even still, I don't know if I can handle being pregnant indefinitely. I think we all need a break from pregnant, unfiltered Sarah. As Mr. T would say, "I pity the fool."

But how, oh how, do we survive the hormones until then? Nate is a pretty good sport, but man, have I been a challenge. I just had about a week where pretty much every person I talked to pissed me off. Deeply pissed me off. Completely, totally pissed me off in every way imaginable. But by about the 10th person I realized it probably wasn't them - it was me. It's kind of amazing - like you're inside a robot looking out, going "Shut your mouth, you're such a bitch!" and somehow the mouth continues to have verbal diarrhea. So if you're in my path, I apologize. Pregnant Sarah is on the loose.

Thankfully, we have just a few months left. And I've actually gotten to a quite optimistic place, where I'm actually expecting there to be a baby at the end. Somehow, somewhere, deep inside me, last time I think I knew it wasn't going to end that way. I can't explain it, but I hadn't prepared in any way. This time though, I'm expecting a living, breathing baby that I can take home with crazy is that?


linds said...

Its not crazy but also understandable... I think its beautiful! I can't wait to meet this new little Ross! Expect away my friend and we'll expect with you... yippeee!

Aunt Becky said...

I could probably fight you for Craziest Pregnant Woman Ever title. Maybe we'd tie. I'm not a hugely angry person, but when I'm pregnant, I get pissed about it all. Dave so deserves a medal for putting up with me.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I am glad that you are 'expecting' a child this time, it can be difficult to get there. It is funny, I totally expect to hold a baby after all this, but I have not planned at all. I have bought nothing, I haven't cracked open the baby name book. I am in such a weird place.
And I hear ya on the hormones. I sure wouldn't want to be hanging around me right now.

k@lakly said...

Not crazy at all. I felt the same way before, that I wasn't going to get a live baby, isn't that weird? I wonder if it is a real sense/connection...I'm sorry I have been MIA I had your blog locked on an old post and thought you had taken a break but NO it was my brain that took the break...duh.
Glad things are going so well, even with the anger issues...I always tell my kids they can work it out in therapy later. works for me:)