Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The problem with accuracy

My friend Becky recently posted about not using silly words for body parts. I appreciated that. We've done basically the same thing - I also don't say "bowel movement" or "urinate" - it's a little too clinical/nerdy to me - but we do say "penis." That's what it is, so that's what we call it. But MAN did that come back to bite me in the butt big-time on Monday.

I was changing Josh in an open area after his swim lesson. He had to go the bathroom so we took his suit off in the bathroom and I brought him out in just a towel. As a result, I was trying to make sure he kept the towel CLOSED (is that too much to ask?) and didn't show the entire world his business.

He was, of course, wholly uncooperative. He instead elected to repeatedly open the towel and grab his penis, exposing himself to anyone who happened to be looking. So I repeatedly whispered, "Josh, stop grabbing your penis." He would stop for a moment, apparently then be struck with total amnesia, and do it again. And I would then whisper, a bit more urgently, "Josh, STOP grabbing your penis."

After about the 10th time in 2 minutes - not exaggerating here - I stopped whispering. I very firmly said "JOSH. STOP GRABBING YOUR PENIS!"

He looked at me and at the TOP of his lungs yelled, "MOM. YOU STOP GRABBING YOUR VAGINA!"

Nice.

10 comments:

Brittan said...

hahahahahaha! I'm assuming you WEREN'T really grabbing your vagina!

Sarah said...

Umm, no. I generally reserve that for when I don't have an audience :)

A-BOMB said...

THATS HOW U MET NATE WAS NOT.
THATS THE STORY I HEARD ANYWAY

Jeremy said...

I'm all for anatomical correctness, but that would have been a lot less embarrassing if you used the words "wiener" and "va-jay-jay"

Aunt Becky said...

Dude, you gave me my first laugh of the day. I heart you.

NOW GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM YOUR VAGINA, WOMAN!

Amy said...

OMG that was the funniest thing I read all day. Thanks again for a great laugh! :)

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Ack! Way too funny and freaking embarrassing!
My girl told my boy in the public bathroom today, "You have a nice penis."
He said thanks. I had to laugh.

Kendra Lynn said...

Ahhahaha! oh boy...that is so great.
I don't you silly words either...and I have had to really drive the point home to the girls about some things being private...very private. Great story.

Kendra

Danafesto said...

LOL!! Thanks for posting this...great laugh :)

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I can't tell you how many people I have shared this story with. Everyone laughs so hard!
I think I am using it to deflect attention from my genital obsessed preschoolers...