Well, we're coming up to the point of viability. I'm 23 weeks now...I thought it would offer some reassurance, and on some levels, it has. I have just felt a real shift over the last two weeks - I've come a long way since my total freakout two weeks ago.
It helps that this baby moves a LOT now. I haven't had more than a couple of hours of not noticing her movements. That offers more reassurance than anything. If I'm being honest, even in those moments I sometimes go "Is she moving too much? Is the cord strangling her too?"
It's impossible, I think, not to let our past define us. I am who I am because of the collective experiences I've had. The key for me has been not letting my past CONTROL me. I feel like I'm finally doing that well - I'm confident in who I am, and for the first time in almost a year, I'm feeling confident about the future.
I finally accepted that I was pregnant, and going to STAY pregnant. Last week, I actually took my maternity clothes out of the Rubbermaid bin I've been using and hung them in the closet. Now that's some serious optimism.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
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8 comments:
I remember celebrating viability as well.
Hooray for viability!
Ah... maternity clothes. Don't worry, you will be in them soon! Congratulations on making it this far - the next 17 weeks will surely fly by!
Omilord no, I've been in them for months! I just was afraid that I would lose another baby and not need them anymore, and so I didn't take them out of the box...
I was gunna say...You're just now wearing maternity????? I was out of my regular jeans around 11 weeks unfortunately!
I'm about 11 weeks and already creeping out of my regular clothes and into maternity. I can't believe how fast I'm "growing" this time around.
And I second Aunt Becky on the "hooray for viability"!
It's fast after the first one, isn't it? I swear, I peed on the stick and then had to unbutton my pants.
I didn't even know I was pregnant with my second until around 12 weeks.
My oldest was only 5 1/2 months old when I found out. I think I started showing around 15 - 17 weeks with the second...I was so stressed, didn't gain much at first.
You are in my prayers.
Kendra
ah, I never cared about the viability age before this pregnancy. I have never even gone into labour on my own before. But this time it matters. If I start to hemorrhage and they can't stop it, I at least know that now my baby has a chance of survival outside of me.
Morbid stuff.
I am so glad you are feeling some optimism, I thing you are doing wonderfully. And everytime I pray for my baby, I pray for yours too.
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